Born with the Blood of a Witch
by godlygirl34
Summary: Haunted by her mother's ghost in her dreams, Jenara, heir to the throne of Queen Jadis, struggles to find her identity outside of her mother's wicked past. With the help of the Pevensies, Jenara embarks on a quest in which she will have to discover her true destiny. Love Triangles, hatred, jealousy, anger! All the twists and turns of a classic tale with a terrifying twist!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This story may contain some inaccurate facts about Narnia and may change the history of the Narnia story. Please Narnia fans don't hate me for this, its just a fan fiction. Thank you.**

 _ **One: Who am I?**_

 _She appeared in my dream. The infamous White Witch. I was sitting in a quiet and beautiful meadow. The sun was warming my rosy cheeks as I watched the marvelous sight of a grand festival. Cherry blossom petals were blowing around the fields in the cool summer breeze, the smell of Narnian dishes filled the air, and the sound of wonderful melodies filled the camp. Crowds of people flocked around the entire area as they laughed, talked, and feasted together as one big happy family. Fauns were dancing in a circle as the lovely music played louder and louder. As I got closer to the camp, the winds began to change. The sky turned an awful shade of gray, and the air became as cold as ice. The sound of terrified screams filled the air as a nasty blizzard began to invade the camp. The more steps I took, the stronger the storm became. I began to run away from the camp and retreat to a small tent nearby. I plopped myself on the small bed that was there, covered my face with my freezing hands, and began to cry. Long streams of tears ran down my face as I thought about the blizzard that I brought to Narnia. As I was crying, I felt a hand rub my shoulders._

"It's alright sweetheart. This is who we are. We bring misery to those around us, but it's a small price to pay in order to become a mighty queen."

 _Strangely enough, this voice brought back so many memories to my mind. This gentle voice of comfort sounded almost like a mother comforting her child. Memories of pain, sorrow, and confusion filled my soul as I listened to every word. I felt sick to my stomach as the voice reminded me of the evil that I came from._ _ **"This is who we are."**_ _That one statement burdened my soul like a ton of bricks being smashed on my heart. As I looked up from my hands, now covered in tears, I saw the face of The White Witch. She was sitting right beside me on the small bed. She appeared as human as I was. Her face looked almost pale and eerie like a ghost, but her body was as fleshy as mine. She had a face that was full of compassion, as if she found her long lost relative. Her eyes were eyes of innocence and her clothes were plain and white. I jumped back from her in fear as she stretched out her arms to pull me back into her embrace. That's when I woke up. I couldn't stop thinking about this dream. What could it mean? Who am I suppose to be?_

My thought train was interrupted by Queen Susan the Gentle.

"Good morning." she said, as she brought me some breakfast on a tray. "How was your sleep?" she asked, as she saw the expression of terror on my face.

"Oh it was alright. I just had a strange dream that's all." I said, as I played it off.

"Really? What was it about?"

 _At that very moment, all my fears became real. I lied. I lied about who I was the night that I met this kind queen. I told Queen Susan that I was a princess from Archenland and that my home was destroyed by the White Witch.I also told her that I was out looking for someplace to stay. She found me, collapsed in the snow last night and allowed me to stay in her castle until she could find a place for me to stay. I couldn't tell her what I was really doing out there in the snow at that time of night. She might throw me out of her palace or have me executed for high treason. You might be wondering what kind of secret I am hiding that could reap such harsh consequences, but sadly, I can't even tell you. I gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath._

"It was about the White Witch's army invading my home again. It seems like I have the same nightmares every night." I said, lying again.

"You poor soul. You need to eat your food. I want you to meet my brothers and sister. I'm sure they'll love you as much as I do. So hurry and eat. Put on one of my dresses and come downstairs. I think they're already here." she said, as she left the room in a hurry.

 _I was alone once again. Alone in my own thoughts. It burned my soul to lie to such a kind person like Queen Susan, but I couldn't bear to tell her the truth. Will she accept me if I came from the womb of a witch? Would she show me the same amount of kindness if she found out that Jadis' blood ran through my veins? I'm tired of pretending. I have to tell her. But who knows what would happen when I do?_

 **AN: Sorry that this chapter was so short and not that good. I really wanted to put this story out there and I was kind of in a hurry to do so. I hope that you enjoyed it and I hope that the next few chapters won't be as short and boring. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Two: Who do they see in me?**_

 _I've got a bad feeling about this. My stomach feels awful. These are Kings and Queens we're talking about. I definitely don't measure up._

I finally came down the stairs in my simple black dress. My soft, blond hair was straight as an arrow and my makeup was a plain as a blank piece of paper. I heard laughter as I was approaching the main hall of the castle. I turned the corner of the hall to the dinning room. I stood there at the entrance of the room and watched as the Pevensies enjoyed each other's company. Lucy and Susan were complimenting each other on their dresses, while Peter and Edmund talked about the many wars that they won in their kingdoms. All in all, this family seemed like everything I've ever wanted. I felt the love that shined in the atmosphere. I could watch this scene forever, if only Susan didn't notice that I was here.

"Oh Jenara, you're here! Everyone, this is my guest, Jenara." she said, as everyone began to stare at me.

"Hello." I said, in the shyest tone possible.

They all gave me their greetings. Lucy gave me a warm hug, Edmund took my hand and gave it a soft kiss, and Peter just gave me a weak handshake. I sat at the head of the table while everyone else sat at the sides. Butlers were serving us a small brunch. I already ate, so I just had a cup of tea with some cookies.

"So Jenara, where are you from?" Peter asked, as he gave me a stern glare. _He definitely doesn't like me. He can see right through me! Act natural._

I swallowed that huge lump in my throat as my fingers began to shake. Everyone continued to stare at me, waiting for me to answer.

"I'm from Archenland." I finally said.

"Archenland? Wasn't that place invaded by the Telmarines?" Lucy asked, looking confused as ever.

"No no, it was invaded by the Calormen. We tried to make peace with them remember? Edmund and I went to make peace with the Calormen when that awful Prince Rabadash was trying to make a move on me." Susan said, as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes I remember that. He wanted to marry you and we had to escape at night." Edmund said as he shook his head.

"Luckily, Aslan turned him into a donkey. That I remember!" Lucy said as we all began to laugh.

"Anyway, how is Archenland? Can you tell us about where you lived?" Peter asked, still giving that vicious glare.

 _Think Jenara, think! You're a princess from a castle. At least I'm supposed to be. Okay, focus. What do I say that won't raise any suspicions?_

 _"_ Um, I was born in the Castle of Anvard. That's the capital." I said.

"Are you a princess?!" Lucy asked with excitement.

"Yes I am."

Everyone seemed really impressed. My eyes were locked on Peter, whose facial expression didn't even budge. He wasn't amused. I shifted over to Edmund who was staring at me with fascination. We both made eye contact and quickly looked away. My cheeks turned an awful shade of red as I glanced back over at him. His face was also as red as a beet as he glanced over in my direction. Lucy, Susan, and Peter all looked at each other.

"What's going on?" Peter asked in confusion.

"I think a certain someone is really into Jenara's story. Right Edmund?" Lucy said with a sly smile.

"Huh? No. I'm just listening to what she's saying. Go on Jenara."

"Riiiight." Lucy said as she gave Susan a wink.

"I am a princess. My father is King Cor." I said, lying once again.

"King Cor? I thought he only had one child. He had a son named Ram. I knew him, but I've never seen you." Peter said as his glare got even more nasty than before.

Susan looked at me with bewildered eyes. The story I told her the night before didn't hold up.

"I was in the North near the Great Desert. I retreated there." My voice began to shake.

"The Great Desert? I thought your home was invaded by the White Witch." Susan said.

"The White Witch?! She hurt you?" Edmund said as if he was defending me.

"Wasn't she was banished to the wastelands of the North after she entered Narnia for the first time?" Peter asked.

I began to sweat. My heart was racing. My knees were shaking. Pressure settled in my heart as the weight of my story was being squashed to pieces.

"May I be excused?" I asked as my stomach began to turn.

"Leaving so soon?" Peter asked in a patronizing tone.

"I just need to use the bathroom." I said as I got up and dashed out of the room.

As I left, I hid behind the wall to hear what they were saying.

"What an interesting house guest you have Susan." Peter said.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well, by the looks of it, I don't think she is who she says she is."

"Oh stop it Peter! Must you always be so judgmental?" Lucy said in annoyance.

"Lucy think about it. She doesn't know her family history, she doesn't remember how her kingdom got invaded, and she didn't even mention that Susan and Edmund came to make peace with the nation! If she was really from Archenland, she would also have mentioned the Battle of Anvard. She didn't say a thing about it!"

"Maybe she would've mentioned it if you weren't asking so many questions!" Edmund said in my defense.

"Ed, you may be fond of her, but I'm not. Something is very strange about that girl." Peter said.

I ran to my room. I kicked off my shoes and slammed the door. I dropped myself on the bed and smacked my face into the pillow. I felt my blood boil as the harsh comments came flooding back into my memory.

 ** _"I don't think she is who she says she is."_**

 ** _"You may be fond of her, but I'm not."_**

 ** _"Something is very strange about that girl."_**

 ** _"She doesn't even know her family history!"_**

 ** _"Must you always be so judgmental?"_**

 ** _"I thought King Cor only had one child."_**

 ** _"I have never seen you before."_**

 ** _"I don't think she is who she says she is."_**

 ** _"SOMETHING IS VERY STRANGE ABOUT THAT GIRL."_**

 ** _"THAT GIRL..."_**

 ** _"THAT GIRL..."_**

 ** _"GIRL..."_**

There was a knock on my door.

"Jenara? Are you okay?"

The sound of Susan's voice was music to my ears, but now wasn't a good time for comfort.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled.

"Are you sure?" she asked in the most sympathetic tone.

"Yes I'm sure just leave!" I yelled again.

There was silence. I didn't mean to be so harsh, but pushing her away was the best thing that I could do.

 _What am I thinking? How could I do this to her?_

With that thought, I rushed to the door and opened it. There was no one there. I rushed through the empty halls to see if she was completely gone. As I sprinted through the long halls, I saw a figure walking ahead of me. I followed the figure thinking it was Susan. Whenever she turned a corner, I turned with her. I was right on her tail. She seemed to be getting faster and faster.

"Wait!" I called, begging her to slow down.

She continued to speed walk down the halls. I started to run after her. The more speed I gained, the faster she started to move. Darting back and forth, she finally turned the corner to a dark hallway. I took the torch that was hanging on the stone wall. I held it out in front of me as the light guided my way through this haunted hallway. I saw cobwebs hanging from the ceiling. Bats flew in my direction and scattered all over the space. Nearly dropping the torch, I saw the figure once again. I squinted as I held the torch out further. The shadow of the person moved along the walls. The person stood there and opened a door. I saw the light coming from the side as Susan stepped into the mystery room. I ran down the hall to catch up to her. I made it to the end of the hall. I turned the same way that I saw her turn. I held the torch out in front of me. An old, wooden door was right in front of me. I turned the knob and went into the room. I squinted at the bright light that hit my face. As I blinked to clear my eye sight, I saw the back of Susan. We were in an empty room that was all white. Her back was turned to me as she faced the wall at the other side of the room.

"I'm sorry Susan. I didn't mean to yell at you. I haven't been myself lately."

She didn't turn around. I was confused. _She must be angry with me for yelling at her._

"I'm sorry okay?" I said. She still didn't turn around.

"What's wrong? I said I was sorry!" I said, as my patience started to run out.

She took off her robe. She lifted the robe over her head and dropped it. This time, her hair was in dishwater blond dreadlocks that wrapped around in the form of a ponytail. She wore a long, silk white gown that fit her form perfectly. The dress had small spaghetti straps. Her figure was tall and thin. She turned around slowly. When she finally faced me, I couldn't believe my eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Three: What kind of Mother are you?**_

My face dropped. Once again, the White Witch appeared in the room.

"Hello my darling." She said as she began to walk closer to me. The whiteness of the room made her face shine as bright as the sun. Her eyes were emerald green and her hair was thick, healthy, curly, and blonde. She looked very pale especially since she was in a white dress, but this paleness made her look like a ghost. I honestly didn't know what to make of her. _Is she real? Is she a ghost? Is she a spirit?_ I desperately wanted to know her purpose. _Why is she here? How did she get here? Is this another dream? It can't be. I never went to sleep. This isn't happening. This means that Aslan never defeated her! This means that the prophecy was all a lie! I must warn the Kings and Queens! I need to get out of here!_ As I turned to leave, the door knob was stuck. I jiggled the handle as hard as I could but it wouldn't budge. I began to panic.

"HELP! Please someone help me!" I screamed, as I jerked the handle more. I violently jiggled the handle until it fell off of the door. I then began to bang on the door with all my might, but nothing was working.

"They can't hear you my dear. We're all alone down here." she said as she came closer to me. She began to walk closer and closer to my side of the room. I banged on the door once more.

"Help! Someone please help me! The witch is back! Someone stop her!"

"You can't stop me. I am apart of you. You are my precious jewel. I will never leave you." she said, as we came face to face with each other.

I froze. Her eyes kept me still. It's as if her mind was causing me to become a statue.

"Don't come any closer!" I said, as I backed up against the door.

"Why are you so afraid of me? Is this any way to treat your mother?" she said, as she reached out and gently brushed my shoulder.

I pulled away from her limp embrace. "Get away from me! You're no _mother_ to me. You're **_dead_** to me!" I said as I shoved my hand through the hole where the handle use to be. I tried to feel the other knob on the outside to unlock the door, when I felt her hand touch my back. She rubbed my back in a circular motion. She began to massage my shoulders with tenderness. It felt good, but my heart was burning within me.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled, as I knocked her hands off my back. "What do you want from me?"

"I want to love you sweetheart. I want to be a mother to you. I want to make you into a mighty Queen that will avenge my throne."

"What the hell are you talking about?! You were never a mother to me. All you cared about was your kingdom and making Narnia into a snowy nightmare!" I screamed as I pushed my hand even further into the hole.

"That's not true. I always loved you."

"Yeah right. How do I know that for sure?" I said as I ripped my hand out of the hole.

She gave me a shocked look. "Is that your question?"

"Yes. How do I know that I'm really your daughter? How do I know that you're not just lying to me in order to reclaim your throne?!" I yelled as I felt my blood boil.

She looked at me with a surprised expression. It was interesting because she looked hurt by what I said. Her face fell as if I betrayed her. _That's funny because the last time I checked, she is the one who **abandoned** me! She's the one who left me behind to build her empire in Narnia._

"Jenara honey, you came from here." she said, as she held her stomach. "Ever since I felt your heart beat inside me, I knew that a precious life had begun in me. That life was inside of me for nine months. Those nine months made me realize that my love for you would never die. That love-"

"Oh stop! You are the epitome of pure evil. You can never love anything. You don't have the capacity to love anyone or anything. You are a witch. Witches can't have children. You don't love me. You left me alone to fend for myself, while you went and recruited for your army to take over Narnia. So don't tell me anything about love because you can't love."

She came and touched my face with her hand. She looked into my eyes and held both of my cheeks with both of her hands.

"Jenara, I want you to be Queen, not just any queen, but _my_ queen. I want you to take back the throne that was rightfully yours."

"Narnia already has a queen. In fact, they have two queens and two kings."

"Yes but they stole your inheritance as heir to the throne. I want you to take it back from them."

"Stop! I refuse to be your vessel to do your evil biding!" I spotted a sword in the corner of the room. I rushed over and picked up the sword. I held it in front of me and the witch moved back and put her hands up.

"Stay back!"

"What are you going to do with that?" she said as she walked closer to me.

"I said stay back!" I said as I held the sharp end to her chest.

She took her hands and held the sharp end of the sword between her palms.

"Come on Jenara, put the sword down. You don't want to do anything that you'll regret." she said as she gripped the sharp end in her hands. There was no blood coming from her palms, which made me hold on to the sword tighter. Even though she was holding the sharp end, her grip was tighter than mine. I squeezed my hands around the handle of the sword until I felt blood rush to my hands. She held on to her end so hard, that the sword fell from my hands and fell to the ground. When the sword fell, she stomped over to me and pinned me to the wall. She grabbed my face with her hands and held it firmly to meet her face. I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to look into those windows of deception. The tighter I shut my eyes, the harder she squeezed my face.

"Look at me Jenara. Open your eyes. We are apart of each other. I am your _mother._ "

Her grip was getting tighter. I felt my cheeks getting hot, while my jawbone felt sore. Suddenly, I shoved her in her stomach. As she fell to the ground, I picked up the sword and began to slice my neck.

"NOOOO!" she cried in horror.

I jumped up from my bed. I was breathing heavily as I felt my neck. I felt scars on my neck and my jawbone was still sore. _How real was that dream?_ I looked down and saw that I still had my black dress on from this afternoon's brunch. I looked out the window to see that it was pitch black outside. I got up and went to the bathroom to wash my face.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Four: Where will we go from here?**_

I finally made it to the bathroom. I splashed some warm water on my face and dried it off with a soft towel. I raised my head slightly to see if the scar was still on my neck. To my surprise, it was completely gone! _What is going on with me? Was there something in that tea?_ As I exited the bathroom, I instantly bumped into Edmund. We apologized simultaneously and shared shy smiles with each other. We stated into each other's eyes intensely. It was a bit awkward, but something about this moment felt **real.**

"I'm so sorry about my brother. He can get very cranky when he hasn't had his beauty rest," He said with a smile.

I let out a very nasty giggle. It almost sounded like a broken squeaky toy getting run over by a truck. _Seriously Jenara? You sound like you're dying from bronchitis!_ He didn't seem to mind at all. My horrendous laugh actually made him smirk. I feel very weird. It's as if a heavy burden was lifted off of my shoulders, I feel so light-hearted, so much so that it feels like I can soar above the clouds. I honestly don't know what's coming over me, but every time I look into that man's eyes, my heart skips a beat. We stayed silent for a moment, gazing at the beauty within each other. It's as if he and I felt the same wave of passion. Suddenly, the pain in my neck started to come back. I jumped back from Edmund and held my neck tightly. He grabbed my arms and helped me stand upright.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm alright. My throat just hurts," I said as I lied.

"Are you sure? You look like you've seen a ghost." He said as he examined my horrified facial expression.

"I'm okay, really I am." I said reassuring him.

"Well, if you say so. Are you coming back downstairs? Lucy, Peter, and I are staying the night."

"Really?"

"Yes. There's a terrible storm happening in the area. I'm surprised that we were able to make the trip."

"Did you say a storm? As in a snow storm?" I asked. _That witch is on the move. It's like she's keeping an eye on me, a close one at that._

"Well I'm not sure about what type of storm it is, Susan just told us that the storm was getting worse and insisted that we all spend the night together."

"That would be amazing." I said with a smile.

"Um excuse me, I kind of need to get in there now." He said as he motioned to the bathroom.

"Oh right sorry." I said as I moved out of his way. I watched him go into the bathroom and made my way downstairs. I went into the main foyaye of the castle and found everyone sitting around the fireplace with mugs in their hands.

"There you are!" shouted Susan.

"Where have you been? You missed the tea and cookies." Lucy said as she went to get me a plate.

"There's not much left Lu." Peter said as he stared at me.

"I'm sure we have more. There's plenty for everyone." Susan said as she followed Lucy into the kitchen.

It was just me and Peter in front of the fireplace. We both watched the flames intensify as we listened to the wood crack in the fire. There was a long and awkward silence that fell between us. Nothing but the fire was stirring. Soon, Peter cleared his throat as if he wanted to say something. I turned slightly in his direction to hear what he had to say. He cleared his throat again and gave a heavy sigh.

"I apologise for my behavior earlier. I guess I was being too judgemental." He took a sip of his drink and continued to stare at the fire. I gave him a weak smile and sat down next to him. He moved over a bit to give me room on the couch.

"Thanks." I said as I grabbed a blanket and wrapped myself in it. Peter turned to me and kept staring. My eyes shifted wildly. _Why is he looking at me like that? Does he want to eat me or something?_

"You know, you look very familiar." He said as he took another sip of his drink.

"Really?" _Uh oh! What do I do now? What if he figures out that I'm a fraud, or worse- what if he figures out my dirty little secret?! No no no, just stay calm and try not to act suspicious, he's already skeptical._

"Yes. The blonde hair, the green eyes, it's just killing me." He said as he set his cup down on the coffee table and continued staring. Susan and Lucy both came back with a tray of cookies and a big mug of steaming hot tea.

"Here you are lovely." Susan said as she handed me the tea. "And here are your cookies Missie!" Lucy said as she set the tray in my lap. _Thank God they came! Peter was freaking me out!_

"Are you alright? The last time you left, we didn't see you for hours. Sorry my brother had to scare you off." Lucy said as she rolled her eyes. Peter just ignored her comment and continued to stare at the fire.

"I'm fine. I just took a nap that's all."

"Nap?! More like siesta! You've been asleep for hours!" Susan said.

"She's got a point Jenara it has been a while. It's funny, I just bumped into you not too long ago on the way to the bathroom." Edmund said as he made his way into the room.

"Yeah I remember that." I said as I slightly blushed.

Lucy winked at Susan, Susan stared at Edmund and Peter got up and left the room.

"Is he always this _distant?"_ I asked after Peter left the room.

"It's the job, he's been very stressed out lately. Running a kingdom is no walk in the park." Susan said.

"Yeah don't take it personal, he's really sweet once you get to know him." Lucy said.

"He's really a big softie and he's a sucker for brunettes. No offense." Edmund said as he winked at me.

"None taken." I said with a smile. "I wish I knew what it was like to rule a kingom." I said as I stirred my tea with my finger.

"What do you mean? Aren't you a princess?" Lucy asked.

"I am but, I'm not like you guys. You all are kings and queens. Being a princess is nothing compared to that." I said looking down at my cup.

Just as Lucy was about to refute my statement, there was a rapid knocking on the door.

"I hope Peter didn't lock himself out." Edmund said as we all rushed to the door.

Susan unlocked the door and a powerful gust of wind and snowflakes blasted us in our faces. Susan led the person inside and quickly shut the door. This person was covered in snow and was shaking like a leaf. We all got the person inside near the fire. I took their coat, Lucy brought some tea, Edmund took the shoes, and Susan got a warm blanket. The person turned out to be an elderly woman who was shaking like crazy.

"Oh thank you all so much! It's a nightmare out there!" She said as she rubbed her hands by the fire.

"What were you doing out there in this nasty weather?" Susan asked.

"I was looking for someone. A girl, by the name of Jenara."

Everyone stared at me.

"She's right here." Edmund said.

"Oh Jenara! I've been looking all over for you!" She said as she came over and gave me a tight hug. _Okay really, what's going on here? I don't even know this woman. Something about her doesn't sit right with me._

"I know you don't remember me, you were young when it happened, but I was your nanny back in Archenland! I took care of you since you were born. While your parents were away negotiating trade deals with other kingdoms, I was taking care of you as if you were my own daughter. We got separated when the White witch attacked our home. That morning, I was warming up a bottle for you, when a huge, ugly Minotaur came and pushed me out the window. Luckily we weren't too high up, but I left you in the crib, screaming for dear life. I tried to get back to you, but I got captured. I escaped years later from the witch's castle and I've been searching for you ever since. I really missed you."

Everyone's mouth hung open. She gave me another tight hug. I felt chills running down my spine. I completely made this story up and here comes this random woman who I know nothing about, and she's telling the same story as if it were true, as if we were on the same page.

" Excuse me, but can you give us a moment?" The woman said.

"Of course." Susan said as they all left.

I stared at the woman in fear. _How did she know my story? And how did everything match up so perfectly? I wish Peter was here to see this! Here's proof that I'm not a liar- at least not on the outside._

The woman placed her hand on my shoulder. We both stared blankly at each other. Soon, the woman's facial features began to change. Her face was glowing in this blue light, and her body got slimmer and taller. Her hair changed from gray to blonde and her eyes changed from brown to green. My eyes widened. I was in utter shock. I couldn't even move. She took her hand and covered my mouth.

"Don't scream." She whispered into my ear.

 _What the heck is going on?_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Five: What do you want?**_

 _I am frozen in time. I don't know what to think or feel in this moment. I don't know if I'm awake or dreaming. I don't know if she is real, or if I'm simply hallucinating. I refuse to accept this witchcraft. How? How can she be real when she appears in my dreams? Didn't Aslan kill her? Did I bring her back from the dead? Why is she bound to me in this way? Questions keep swarming in my mind. I am utterly confused and saddened by this turn of events. I'm tired of this nonsense. She keeps appearing and disappearing at will, and I can't seem to control it. I knew that I was in charge of my dreams, but this is getting out of hand. She keeps staring at me as if I'm some bountiful banquet of food that she can't wait to feast on. Her hand is still over my mouth. Funny, I can feel her hand, it's as fleshy and real as my hands are. I wanted to take my hand and feel hers, but my body was still in time. I can feel her soft hands as they touch my lips. Her fingers are squeezing my jawline tightly. It hurts, but I can't get over how real this feels. She's obviously not a ghost, her body is definitely real. But how? How did she replicate a human body? Did she steal it?_

"Are you sure you won't scream?"

Her question wasn't enough to break my concentration. I was still stunned by the realness of her body. I was in a daze. It's almost as if my mind isn't within my own body _._ i felt her hand across my lips and her cold fingers gripping my jawline. I wanted to take my own hand to touch hers, but my entire body was frozen. I didn't move. I couldn't even nod.

Oh for God's sake! Just nod or something!"

 _Uh oh, she's losing her patience._ I nodded, just to avoid further conflict. She paused for a while and began to slowly remove her hand from my mouth. My mouth remained slightly open. I stared at her in awe. _This must be a dream, but I don't recall going to bed._ We both sat in front of each other on the large couch near the fireplace. An uncomfortable hush feel between us, and the coldness in our souls was enough to freeze hell over.

"Now, pay close attention to what I have to say." She began as she moved closer to me.

I just couldn't hear what she was saying. I saw her lips moving, but her words faded. Once she caught on to my little daze, she raised her hand and slapped me. The numbness in my face was overpowering. Everything moved in slow motion, my eyes were rolling back into my head, and my face felt hot with the friction from that hard slap.

"I said, I want you to pay attention to this. I have a proposition for you."

She had my attention now. "What kind of proposition?"

"A proposition that I know you can't refuse." As she said those words, her eyes turned an awful shade of black.

"And how do you know that?" I said backing away. Those eyes gave me a strong chill down my spine.

"With this deal, we both will get what we desire most."

"Really. And what is that?"

"The desire to rule."

She moved closer and gripped my hand. My soul felt as if an anchor was piercing through it. I felt like I was drowning in my own fears; every one of them were becoming real. _What did she mean by the desire to rule? Doesn't she want to rule? I **hate** this: having more questions than answers, hoping for warmth and acceptance, but receiving nothing but coldness and isolation. I don't even know who I am, where I came from or who I am supposed to be. _

My hands began to shake. She waited patiently, as if she knew I had something to say.

"Funny, I thought that _you_ desired to rule." I said as I swallowed that lump in my throat.

"You see my dear, we both want to rule in different ways. I want to regain my kingdom through my own flesh and blood, while you want to be in charge of taking back your freedom. You want answers to the questions that keep you prisoner to your own fears. You want to find love because you think that it will help you to escape the pain of your dark past. I think you may have found that in a certain young king."

My blood began to boil. I shot right up out of my seat. "What do you know about me?!"

"I know you better than I know myself sweetheart, and believe me I want nothing more than for you to reclaim that freedom you so desire because the sooner you overcome your fears, the closer I get to my throne."

"If reclaiming my freedom means restoring _your_ kingdom, then I'd rather _die_ in fear.

"Be careful what you wish for, it just might happen."

"What does that mean?"

A smirk began to appear on her face. That smug smile continues to make my teeth grind together in ruthless rage. She got up from her seat and paced around near the fireplace. Her back was turned to me as she stood in front of the fire.

"If you die, your problems will follow you. Remember, I died a long time ago." She turned around and walked over in my direction. Every word that came from her lips caused her to move closer to me.

"You see, _I am what you fear._ I embody all of your deepest, darkest secrets. There's no escape from this nightmare. I will follow you until you've decided that you've had enough. I will never ceases to exist as long as you hold onto your fear. Only you can tell me where to go, when to go, and how to go. Until you conquer the most evil parts of your being, my spirit will never be at rest and I will continue to haunt you all the days of your life. If you want to be free, you need to do exactly as I say."

She and I were close together as if we were a couple ready to make out with each other. She tucked my body into her chest and whispered her wicked plot into my ear.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Six: Who can I trust?**_

The cool breeze brushed against the goosebumps that formed on my pale arms. The radiant golden sun was rising slowly over the hills covered in snow, spreading its warm rays over the icy plains of Narnia. This picturesque moment couldn't soothe the darkness in my heart. I stood there on the castle balcony feeling hollow and depressed. The castle walls were still, not a soul moved within this space. I was surprised that that nasty witch didn't follow me here to remind me of her sinister plan. _Oh that awful plot!_ My stomach twisted within me and my palms began to sweat. The sun's rays finally kissed my dry skin and the white plains shone brightly in the light. I hung onto the balcony railing for dear life. I contemplated throwing myself off of the balcony and plunging down to my death. I closed my heavy eyes and leaned forward toward the edge of the railing. The top half of my body was hanging off the balcony.

 _That's it I guess. No holding back, just do it!_ As I started to raise my left foot to swing it over the railing, I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I let out a long sigh and pushed myself back from the edge of the railing. I stood there, tall and calm- just as I had been when the sun was rising.

"Jenara?" a gentle voice said as the person made their way to the balcony. The voice sounded a lot like Lucy's. I turned around slowly to see her shielding her eyes from the sun's light. Her long, brunette hair was swept back into a slick ponytail. She was wearing a coat over her silver, silk robe with furry bunny slippers on her feet.

"Nice slippers." I answered with a half smile.

"Thanks. Susan thought they were too childish." she said as she came over to me.

"It seems like Susan is way too mature for her age. She needs to give you a break."

She gave a small giggle, closed her eyes, and stretched out her arms as if she wanted to touch the clouds. Peace covered her body like a warm blanket on a frigid winter night. She embraced the sun's glow and relished the morning's beauty. I envy her peaceful spirit. _Maybe that's why she was destined to be a queen. I mean, who would want such an emotional wreck like me to be their leader?_

"It's a beautiful day isn't it?" she asked turning to me.

I was in a trance. I was so deep in thought that I barely heard her question.

"Jenara, are you alright?" she said as her warm hands touched my arm.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine really I am."

"Are you sure you're okay? You look terrible."

"Um yeah I had a rough night. Couldn't sleep."

"It seems like you have a lot on your mind. Do you need to talk about it?"

 _Lucy, I honestly don't think you can handle my baggage. Talk about it? Ha! I need so much more than talking to get out of this mess._

"No I'm fine."

Her innocent eyes looked into mine. She smiled and gave me a long hug. "If you ever need anything, I'll always be here for you."

I fought back the hot tears that were itching to fall down my cheeks. Lucy's kindness warmed my heart, but it didn't last for long. I was in a bind with a witch. I can't possibly hurt Lucy or her sister or her gorgeous brother. _Alright, Peter too._ They are all too generous and kind. I can't possibly accept this charity.

"I'm fine Lucy, you don't have to worry about me." I said putting my face into my hands.

She placed her hand on my shoulder again. "Hey, you're not a burden you know."

"Lucy, please don't do this you're going to make me bawl like a baby." We both laughed as she handed me a small handkerchief.

"That's totally fine with me. We all need to bawl like babies sometimes." she said with a friendly smile.

I tucked the handkerchief away in my robe while a wonderful aroma filled the air.

"Mmm. That smells delightful. Come on, let's go get some breakfast before Edmund eats the entire table." she said as we rushed to the kitchen.

Sure enough, breakfast was being served. A bountiful spread of bacon, muffins, sausages, pancakes, French toast, eggs, waffles, toast, cereal, oatmeal, fruit salad, orange, and apple juice filled the kitchen in a buffet style near the dining table. Fine china was set on the table with vases of exotic flowers at the center. My mouth watered at the sight of this amazing meal. The kitchen staff was buzzing around the room trying to set up everything for our enjoyment. One of the butlers told everyone to make their way to the table to have a seat. On my way over to the table, I bumped into Edmund once again.

"Good morning my lovely lady. Did you sleep well?" he said with a smile.

My cheeks felt hot and my stomach was fluttering. "Good morning my king. I didn't get much sleep, but it doesn't matter now that I see this scrumptious food."

He laughed at my stupid answer. _Great. He probably thinks I'm greedy._

"Yeah. I can't wait to dig in!" he yelled as he rubbed his hands together and licked his lips.

"Don't get any ideas Ed. Save some food for the rest of us." Peter said as he came over to punch Edmund in the arm. I was shocked to see him give me a playful wink after he punched his brother.

"Ladies first." he said as he allowed me to go in front of him.

"Look who's finally being a gentleman!" Edmund said as he gave Peter a punch in his arm.

I loved to see this playful side of Peter. I just wish he would show it more often. The joyous encounter didn't last long. Suddenly, the room felt colder than usual. Peter and Edmund carried on their conversation. They didn't notice the old lady entering the room, holding her belly as if she just vomited.

"Good morning my kings." she said in a husky voice.

Peter and Edmund both rushed over to her and brought her to the table. As they passed me by, she gave me a nasty glare with a slight smirk. They got her to the table and told Susan to get her some tea.

"Are you alright?" Susan asked bringing the tea.

"Oh, I'm alright. I just had an upset stomach. It was a rough night last night." she said as she stared at me.

We all took our seats at the table. This might be a very awkward breakfast. Everyone was digging into their meals, savoring every bite of this delicious food. I took very few bites and poked my fork in the scrambled eggs on my plate. Of course, the witch sat right across from me with Edmund next to me and Lucy next to her. Peter and Susan sat at both ends of the table while a hush fell over the crowd. Jadis, cleverly disguised as a humble elderly woman, kept staring at me while she ate her meal. It's almost as if she knew how uncomfortable I felt because her stare became more intense by the second.

"So, anyone have any plans for the day? It's like a winter wonderland out there." Lucy said, breaking the silence.

"I don't know. It's a little too cold for me. I might stay inside and catch up on some reading." Susan said, stuffing more bacon into her mouth.

"I might take a horseback ride out into the forest, you know to explore the snowy castle grounds. Anyone want to join me?" Lucy asked, taking a bite of toast.

"I would!" Edmund said, raising his hand like a kindergartner getting called on by the teacher.

"I think I would enjoy that too." I said taking a sip of my tea.

Jadis glared at me in rage. She obviously did not like that idea. "Jenara, I was hoping that we could do something today. After all these years, I think we need to spend some quality time together. Don't you think?" she said with a malicious grin.

 _Did this woman just back me into a corner in front of everyone?_ I stabbed my fork into a sausage and chewed that piece of meat with a vengeance.

"I think that we have all the time in the world to spend with each other. Don't I have a right to enjoy some quality time with others as well? What do you think about that?" I said, chewing another sausage in anger. I chewed so fast that I almost bit my tongue.

"Life is short my dear. Very short." she fired back as she cut her pancake with her knife.

Everyone noticed the tension in the room. We all continued to eat silently with this stiff energy looming over us.

"So will you be joining us Jenara?" Edmund said.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world." I said glaring at that horrible witch.

"While you all are off reading books and riding horses into the sunset, I have to manage getting some food and clothing to the starving people in the Calormen kingdom." Peter said, rising up to leave the table. "Excuse me, while I get to work. Enjoy your snow day everyone." he said as he left the room.

"I think we'd better get going if we want to go on our little adventure. It's pretty cold out there." Edmund said, also rising to leave.

"Yeah you're right." Lucy said as she too, began to leave the table.

I got up and started to follow them. As I turned the corner to get to the coats, someone grabbed my arm and pushed me behind the wall. I turned around to find Jadis in her normal form.

"Listen to me. You will not ruin this plan do you understand?!" she snapped, as her grip tightened.

I pulled from her grasp. "We'll see about that." I said as I left her standing alone. I grabbed a coat, and headed out to meet Edmund and Lucy in the barn.

The weather seemed to be getting worse. The wind was picking up, blowing the frost off of the trees in the distance.

"Lu, I don't think we should go out there. It's getting nasty." Edmund said.

"Come on let's go inside." Lucy said as we all rushed into the castle.

I was disappointed that our adventure didn't happen, but it seemed that Edmund had another plan. He waited until Lucy left and held me close to his chest.

"Why don't I show you my favorite spot in this castle?" he whispered into my ear. He took my hand and rushed me down the hall.

We ended up behind a staircase near the entrance of the castle.

"Impressive." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"Don't let this fool you. There's more." he said, as he pushed one of the bricks further into the wall.

As the brick slid further into the wall, a door handle appeared on a section of the wall. Edmund twisted the handle and pushed the door open. The door led to an exquisite flower garden with a fountain in the middle. The garden had an array of red tulips, violets, yellow roses, pink petunias, white orchids, and cherry blossom trees. Cherry blossom petals were falling everywhere while the fountain rushed with crystal, blue water. The entire garden was encased in a glass dome that looked almost like a green house. The path that wrapped around the garden was made of cobblestone. The path led to a table near the back of the garden with a pitcher of lemonade in the center. Edmund led me to the table and sat me down in one of the chairs. We had such a beautiful view of the entire garden with the cherry blossom trees towering over us.

"This is incredible!" I said taking a sip of the lemonade.

"I knew you would like it." he said with a smile.

"How is this garden growing? Isn't it snowing outside?"

"When Susan took me here for the first time, she told me that it was an enchanted garden. She claims that she found a silver apple on one of her expeditions and she planted the seeds behind this wall. She says that the garden magically grew here."

"This is amazing!"

"If you think this is great, let me show you the rest." he said as he took my hand again.

He led me up some glass steps as we walked along the second level of the dome. We stood above the garden looking down at the trees that covered the flowers. I was able to see the fountain in the center and got a glimpse at another tree which had sliver apples on it.

"Is that the silver apple tree?" I asked.

"Yes. There it is over there. It's only visible once you get on a higher level. I want to show you my most favorite place, but you have to close your eyes."

I closed my eyes as he took both of my hands.

"Steady, steady and stop! Don't open them yet."

The floor felt like soft carpet. It was very warm in this room as I heard fire kindling in a fire place.

"Alright, open them!"

I opened my eyes to a massive bedroom decked in gold walls with a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. A massive bed was in the middle of the room in front of the fire place. The bed had silk canopy curtains that touched the cafe colored carpet underneath. There was a small table near the bed with a nightstand on the opposite side. Although I enjoyed the ambiance of the room, I was a little skeptical of this "special place."

"Edmund, what are we doing here?"

He walked over to me slowly and held my hands. He led me over to a couch that was in the corner of the room. We both sat down on the couch, face to face. Our eyes met as we started to stare at each other. Edmund continued to hold my hands as he prolonged his gaze into my eyes. His dark brown eyes started a blazing fire in my soul. My heart kicked into over drive. I felt my forehead which was wet with sweat.

"Jenara, ever since I met you I've never felt the same. Your eyes cause my soul to melt and your beauty makes my heart leap. I honestly don't know how to say this, but- Jenara I, I-" he nervously covered his face.

 _I cannot believe this!_ My heart is pounding way too fast. My stomach is turning upside down and my lips began to feel dry. There was a long silence.

"Edmund, I actually feel the same way. I didn't know what to make of this feeling, but whenever I'm around you I feel safe. It's like all of my walls come crashing down and I feel like a new person. I love you Edmund and whether you feel the same way or not, I can't help but have this burning passion within me when I see your handsome face and gorgeous body and-"

He didn't let me finish my sentence. Before I knew it, he pulled me close to him and our lips locked together into a passionate kiss. He picked me up from the couch, into his arms, and walked over to the bed. We were literally sucking our faces off as this fiery fervor rushed into my heart. He threw me onto the bed and began to take off his shirt.

"I love you too Jenara." he said as he unbuckled his belt.

"Wait! Don't you think we're taking this a little too fast?" I said shooting up from the bed.

He looked at me with the sting of rejection in his eyes. He picked up his shirt off the floor and started to put it on.

"Yeah you're right. I don't know what came over me. We just met but for some reason, this all feels right."

"I agree, but maybe we should take it slow. I'm sorry but I don't want you to get hurt." I said twirling my hair.

"What do you mean?"

"Edmund, since I love you so much I don't want you to let your guard down with someone that you can't rely on."

"What are you talking about Jenara? Is there something that you need to tell me?"

Once again, I froze. I wanted to spill everything and just tell him the truth, but I can't. _It hurts way too much._ I felt a terrible burden within my heart. I couldn't stand the deceit. My face felt hot as tears began to stream down my cheeks. I ran out of the room, down the stairs and through the garden.

"Jenara wait!" Edmund yelled as he ran after me.

I ran through the door and into the empty halls of the castle. I ran so fast that I bumped into Susan, almost knocking her over.

"Jenara?! What is going on?"

Before I could say a word, Edmund came and found us, his shirt was off with his belt unbuckled in his pants.

"What is going on with you two?!" Susan said with a disgusted look on her face.

Edmund and I stared at each other shamefully. Neither of us dared to answer Susan's question.

"Jenara, meet me in my room. Edmund, pull yourself together and get some clothes on!" she said as she stomped away in anger.

Turning away from Edmund, I wiped the tears and headed to Susan's room. As if things couldn't get any worse, I saw Jadis standing in front of the door of Susan's room with a smirk on her face.

"What a show! Did you have fun?" she said as she began to laugh loudly.

"You!" I said as my blood began to boil.

"I told you that you won't ruin this plan." she said with an evil glare.

As I ran toward her to punch her in the face, she disappeared and I feel into Susan's room.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Seven: Can you feel what I feel?**_

To my good fortune, no one was in the room to see my disastrous fall. After picking myself off of the ground, I walked slowly and somberly into Susan's regal bedroom and sat down on the small chair in front of her grandiose desk. My palms were sweaty, goosebumps began to protrude from my arms, and my mouth felt like a dry Sahara dessert in mid August. The stillness in the room made my spirit uneasy. The soft ticks of the clock weren't enough to serenade me. I kept tapping my fingers on the ridges at the edge of Susan's desk, hoping that she would be here soon. _Then again, she did seem very upset when she ordered me in here. Maybe this isn't going to be a casual meeting after all._ Just as I was attempting to leave the room, the door opened slowly revealing Susan standing on the other side. We both gave each other long stares as she made her way to the desk. She sat abruptly in the chair and pulled it closer to the desk. She carefully placed both of her hands on the surface of the desk and took a deep breath. My heart was racing faster than it did when Edmund took his shirt off. The powerful kiss that we shared was still fresh in my mind. His soft lips sent me into another universe. As our lips touched, our souls became one entity. It's as if our bodies were becoming one flesh. _Why did I stop him? We both knew what we were getting ourselves into so why didn't I let him finish what he started?_ The shame in his eyes sent my stomach into a frenzy. Even now, I felt ashamed of rejecting his affections in such a harsh manner. I should have told him to stop while we were making out on the couch. _But that kiss. That kiss stopped me in my tracks and made me feel **hopeful** again. _

"Jenara," Susan finally said in a stern tone.

I stared into her soft brown eyes. She had the face of a mother who was contemplating the appropriate punishment for her wayward child.

"I need you to give me an honest answer to the question that I am going to ask."

My fingers began to quiver. I could feel the minuscule goosebumps as they protruded through the skin on my arms and legs. The silence was killing me. All I could hear was the clock ticking away. Every tick made me feel like an arrow was being thrust into my chest. Susan's face was as stern as a strict prison warden. She could tell that I was dying on the inside. I knew she was going to ask about Edmund, but I'm having a hard time understanding why she is so mad about us being together. _What if she can see right through me? She is Susan the Gentle after all. What if that title came along with a discerning spirit? You know Aslan and his "deep magic."_

"Jenara, I know that this is hard for you, believe me I'm quite shocked myself, but I need you to tell me what is going on between you and my brother."

I was tempted to ask which one she was referring to, but her next response told me that she was two steps ahead of me:

"And you know which one I'm talking about," she said as she clasped her hands together.

 _This is it, no holding back._ I swallowed that dry lump in the back of my throat and began to confess.

"Susan, I-"

My confession was interrupted by a knock on the door. Susan sighed as she got up to answer it. Before she left the area, she gave me a rough glance.

"Don't move," she said as she made her way over to the door.

I didn't see who the person was, but I heard a familiar voice.

"Lu, this is a bad time."

"I know, but we need to talk Susan. It's really important."

"I'm in the middle of something right now."

"Please, this will only take a minute."

Susan finally stepped aside and let her sister in the room. I immediately put my head down and stared at the floor. I couldn't bear to look into Lucy's innocent eyes after what I did (or attempted to do) to Edmund.

"Jenara?" she said as she shot a confused look at Susan.

"I told you I was in the middle of something," Susan said as she took her place behind the desk.

Lucy and I sat in the chairs that were facing Susan. I still didn't make eye contact with Lucy even though I really wanted the comfort that her gaze often brought to my soul. Susan, being as serious as a school miser, stared at the both of us while tapping her fingers on the desk.

With an icy stare, she attempted to break the silence that fell between us.

"So ladies," she started. "Tell me what's going on with the both of you."

"Well I wanted to-" Susan stuck out her hand, pausing Lucy's statement.

"No Lucy. I want Jenara to go first. After all, she was about to tell me something before you knocked on the door."

I felt two sets of eyes staring at me with concern. I just couldn't stand to see their faces. I felt disgusted with myself. _That was their brother! If he got hurt, they all got hurt. How could I tell them that I almost seduced their brother into having sex with me? Well, in all honesty, he was the one who came on to me. Okay, just calm down and tell them what happened._ They kept staring at me, waiting to hear what I had to say. Lucy was more concerned than Susan. Her childlike face was seething with compassion. As for Susan, it seemed like she wanted to protect her younger brother more than anything else. I took a deep breath and placed my shaking hands under my legs. I told them about the garden hidden behind the wall underneath the stair case. I also told them about the exquisite flowers and how Edmund told me the silver apple story. Then it got to the hard part. I slowly told them about the kiss we shared and stopped the story right there.

"That's all?" Susan asked raising her eyebrows.

"What do you mean? She told us what happened," Lucy said, glaring at Susan.

"There's more to the story than just a simple kiss."

My heart began to race. Was Susan seriously going to force me into making a confession? Was she going to make me tell Lucy that she found me running from Edmund with his shirt off?

"Susan don't be ridiculous. Jenara just told us what happened."

"I know what I saw Lucy, and Jenara knows what I'm talking about."

 _Oh no Susan! You are not getting me to fess up!_ I sat there in silence. I wasn't going to say a word.

"What did she see Jenara?" Lucy asked.

 _Sorry Lucy, I won't talk. Not even for you._ She grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye.

"Jenara, what did Susan see?"

I didn't answer. I bit my bottom lip while I fought back the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"Jenara, if you won't tell her, I will," Susan said in a serious tone.

"Stop it Susan!"

"Lucy we need to know the truth! She was running away from Edmund as if he was going to kill her! His shirt was in his hands and his belt was unbuckled. Now, does that sound like a simple kiss to you?"

Lucy slowly turned to face me. Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull.

"Jenara, is this true?" she asked, her voice quivering as if she was holding back her own tears.

Unfortunately, I couldn't hold back mine. Soon after, Lucy began to cry with Susan following behind her. That's how it ended: three ladies sitting down watching each other cry. There was nothing else to tell. Why was this so hard? _If they can't handle me telling them that their brother almost forced himself on me, how could I possibly tell them the truth about who I am?_ Susan came from behind the desk and kneeled down next to my chair. She held my right hand while Lucy held my left hand. I felt Susan's soft fingers touch my chin as she pulled my tear filled face toward hers. The tears trailed her cheeks as well, you could almost see the pain in her eyes. Lucy put her head on my shoulder and proceeded to rub my arm. _What's going on here? Don't they know that nothing really happened between Edmund and me? Why are they crying? Are they feeling the pain that I never bothered to express?_ Before Susan could utter a word, I shot up from the chair. I definitely wasn't used to this.

"Thank you ladies but I think I'm a little winded. I'm going to rest my eyes for a minute," I said as I inched out of the "love huddle."

"Jenara, if you ever need to talk I'm here okay?" Susan said.

"Yes me too," Lucy added.

I gave them a faint smile and headed to my room. I allowed my body to drop and sink into the delicate bed. I laid there thinking about the awkward encounter that I had with Edmund and the warm embrace that I received from both Susan and Lucy. I wish I understood why Edmund loved me. _What's there to love?_ I wish I understood why Susan and Lucy were so concerned about me. _Can't they tell that I'm a fraud?_ Determined to put my mind at ease, I pulled the covers over my head and closed my eyes tightly.

 _As much as I tried, I just couldn't fall asleep. The rush of cool air covered my body, making me feel as if I was lying on a bed of ice. My eyes popped open as felt the frosty ground touch my face. I stood up from the snow covered ground as the bitter winter breeze chilled my bones. I attempted to warm myself up by wrapping my arms around my body and rubbing them. I walked around trying to find the palace, but several trees blocked my view. As I walked further into this forest, I came across an old lamp-post that gave off some light through its kindling fire. The lamp-post was covered in snow, as was the rest of the wood. Where am I? The silence was interrupted by loud footsteps trudging in the snow. I hid behind one of the large trees as the footsteps got louder._

"Lucy?" a voice said as a figure passed by one of the trees.

I cautiously poked my head from behind a tree. I didn't see anyone, but the person continued to speak.

"Lucy? I think I believe you now," the voice echoed again.

I made my way closer to the voice. The person kept calling out Lucy's name as if they were desperately trying to find her. The voice eventually stopped calling out her name when the sound of jingling bells echoed through the trees. I finally caught up to the person who appeared to be a young boy covered in a blue robe. Soon, a sleigh pulled by white reindeer zoomed passed the boy, knocking him into the snow. The sleigh came to an abrupt stop. The boy and I looked on with confusion while a small dwarf with a red hat and a long, gray beard came charging toward him. A blood curdling scream came from the dwarf as he ran to the boy at full speed. A whip was in the dwarf's hand, which he used to grab the boy's legs and throw him to the ground. The dwarf jumped onto the boy's chest and attempted to stab him with a dagger.

"Leave me alone!" the boy shrieked.

"What is it now Ginarrbrik?" a female voice said in annoyance.

That voice sounded awfully familiar. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I know I've heard that voice before.

"Make him let me go! I didn't do anything wrong!" the boy pleaded with the lady.

"How dare you address the Queen of Narnia?!" the dwarf snarled.

The Queen of Narnia? Aren't there two queens? _Wait a minute: the snowy landscape, the nasty dwarf, the voice- Did I go back in time?!_

"I didn't know!" the boy whined.

"You'll know her better hereafter!" the dwarf yelled as he went to stab the boy again.

"Wait!" the lady said as she emerged from the sleigh.

Sure enough, that lady was Jadis herself. Although I was shocked to see her, I was awestruck by her appearance. She had an eight inch crown made of icicles sitting on her neatly twisted blonde dreads that fell on her right shoulder. She was wearing a marvelous lacy dress that had gradient mixtures of white and baby blue. She also wore a white fur mantle that touched the floor and covered her shoulders. The boy was in awe as well because he couldn't stop staring at her. She walked gracefully toward the boy and the dwarf. She stopped suddenly and twirled her giant, crystal wand around.

"What is your name Son of Adam?" she asked.

"Um, Edmund," the boy said nervously.

 _Edmund?! What was he doing with the white witch?_ My thoughts were interrupted with Jadis' next question:

"And how, Edmund, did you come to enter my dominion?"

"I'm not sure. I was just following my sister-"

"Your sister? How many are you?"

"Four. Lucy's the only one who's been here before. She said she met some faun called Tumnus. Peter and Susan didn't believe her, I didn't either."

My blood began to boil. _Why is he telling her all of this?! Doesn't he know that Mr. Tumnus would get killed for allowing a human to enter Narnia? He would be turned to stone for helping a human. Why is he doing this? He shouldn't even be talking to her! And to think that I was in love with this guy!_ Just when I thought Jadis would explode at Edmund for tattling on Mr. Tumnus, she instead told him that he looked cold and offered him a seat next to her on the sleigh.

She wrapped him in her fur mantle and looked into his eyes. Since the sleigh was so far from me, I couldn't exactly hear what they were saying. I tried to quietly maneuver through the tall trees but I stepped on a twig, causing a loud snap to echo in the forest. My heart was pounding but to my surprise, no one noticed the sound. _That's weird. The snap caused some birds to fly from the trees. So, why didn't anyone move?_ I saw Jadis hand Edmund a silver chalice with steam coming from it. He took a few sips of it before Jadis took the cup from him and gave it to Ginarrbrik. She then gave him a silver container which was formed from a magic teal drop. Edmund ripped the lid off of the container and began stuffing his face with several powdered pastries. I walked closer to the sleigh. I was standing right beside Jadis. No one seemed to notice me. It's as if I was a ghost spying on them in purgatory. The witch glared at Edmund as he shoved the pastries down his throat. _What is really going on here? Is she trying to seduce him or something? I'm sure Edmund is smart enough not to fall for her tricks._

"Edmund, I would very much like to meet the rest of your family," Jadis said as she watched Edmund in disgust. His gluttony was obviously making her uncomfortable. I have to say that this greedy, Turkish Delight gobbling, pompous Edmund is very unattractive.

Edmund looked up at her in annoyance. "Why? They're nothing special!" he snapped as he took another bite of his snack.

Jadis' eyes widened. She was as shocked as I was to hear Edmund dismiss his family in such a way. _Seriously, what is going on? Edmund, how could you be so annoyed with the family that you care about so deeply? This must be a dream. Edmund would never betray his family like this. Especially for some sweets made from dark magic._

"Oh I'm sure they're not nearly as delightful as you are," she said as she grabbed Ginarrbrik's red hat and wiped off the excess powder on Edmund's lips. She roughly handed the hat back to Ginarrbrik and continued her statement: "But you see, Edmund, I have no children of my own. And you are exactly the sort of boy where I could see, one day, you becoming prince of Narnia - maybe even king."

The air immediately got knocked out of my lungs. The snowy trees became white blurs and the world felt like it was spinning out of control. I was desperately gasping for air as I tried to grab on to the edge of the sleigh. My fingers slipped right through the sleigh as if they were laced in butter. My ankle twisted in the snow as I fell down to the icy ground. The force was enough to knock me into another dimension. All I could hear was the devastating lie: **_I have no children of my own._** This phrase played on a continuous loop, like a broken record. This nasty ballad pierced my eardrums and caused my heart to sink into the acid of my stomach. _No children. No heir to her throne. No answers to my endless list of questions._ In the words of my own "flesh and blood," **_I did not exist._** But she _abandoned_ me! Is my pain no longer valid? It was clearer to me now more than ever that my mother has a heart as cold as the winter that she cursed the Narnian land with. She never felt my pain and she surely never cared about my worth.

A heavy knock on the door helped me to escape this horrid nightmare. My head was pounding as I got up from the bed. The pillow was soaked with sweat and my eyes could barely stay open. I tried to make it to the door, but the person kept knocking. I finally made it to the door, and gave the door knob a weak turn. Lucy stood outside looking as worried as ever.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you from your nap. You missed lunch. Susan didn't want to wake you, but you've been asleep for hours. I was starting to get worried. Dinner is going to be ready soon, so wash up and come down to join us."

"Lucy, I don't think I feel well enough to have dinner with you all."

"I understand. You do look awful. I'll tell one of the chefs to bring your meal to you. I'm sure the others won't mind."

"Thank you Lucy."

"No problem," she said as she turned to leave.

I closed the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe eating in my room was the best decision for this evening.


End file.
